Hey guys. I was thinking about the members in our latest MPT fitness challenge last night. I thought it pertinent to put my feelings into print as to what I personally believe to be the necessary actions for bringing about change.
I want to talk about the meaning of failure and responsibility.
I think that the hardest thing for many people to do is actually understand that they have a choice….everyone has a choice in life. We have the choice to eat poorly or to eat well, to exercise or to skip it, to push snooze or to get up, to make excuses or to man/woman/non-binary up and get things done.
One poor choice often feeds another and starts a cycle of painful damage.
A bad meal justified today leads to 10 bad meals which leads to “stuff it, I’ll start next week”, which leads to being overweight and eventually obesity; don’t believe me? Then why are we, Australia, the fattest country on earth?
I have a sore knee leads to no exercise this month, which leads to more soreness which leads to never exercising again.
I put this picture up because when I met Fern, my now wife, she loved doing scary stuff. I HATE IT. Heights terrify me; the mere thought makes my palms sweat and the bones in my hands hurt. I am completely overwhelmed at the prospect of heights, even when on the ground.
When I realised how much she loved this, I just told myself that no matter how daunting something was, I wouldn’t back out. 10 years later I have bungeed, swung off mountains, sky-dived and earlier this year I did the Angels Landing hike in Utah. This hike is one of, if not THE most dangerous day hike on earth; scaling a mountain ridge of exposed rock all the way to the top. The day before we did it I said I’ll do it as soon as she asked. The whole night I wanted to back out; I read everything about this hike that I could. I read about people dying, being scared to walk after half an hour and most reviews said “this hike is fine if you are not afraid of heights”. I wanted to say no. With every fibre I wanted to say no!
Do you know why I didn’t back? Because I told myself 10 years ago that I’ll never go back on my word with anything, and that applied to this. I made a vow that if I commit to something, I do it. Even if I hate it. Hikes, meal prep, baby parties, crappy friends parties, anything….I go. I show up.
So many people lose sight of what’s important because they tell themselves that it’s ok to fail? Is it? Is it really ok to continually make excuses or tell yourself that it’s ok not to honour your obligations.
The whole way up Angels Landing I was terrified. I didn’t admire the view, I didn’t take anything in, I just wanted to survive. Head down, look forward, move, survive. I made it to the top….I was elated. The whole way down I stopped everywhere, took pictures, went over to the edge and I took it all in. I did it. I hated it, I was scared, but I did it. I’m glad I did….
Every time you make up some bullshit excuse, tell yourself a story or back out of an obligation you are whittling away at YOUR best self. If I say no to Angels Landing, pretty soon I’m saying no to doing day hikes, then to the 1,000 steps and then I’m just saying no to everything….because I have made it ok to say no and be a NO person.
People back out of things because they’re scared; scared to fail, scared to look bad, scared to be inferior. Scared of the time it will take to achieve something. No one ever mocks someone that’s trying their best. They do mock the person who always sleeps in, makes excuses and makes believe that their particular set of problems are worse than their neighbours. The truth is, most of us in Australia are set up to succeed. We live in an amazing country where there is so much to do, to see, and to achieve. The only thing holding us back is US.
I see so many people with unlimited potential just blow it. “It’s too hard”, “I’m tired”, “it’s easy for YOU”, blah, blah, blah. Your inner thoughts are killing you. Every new excuse suffocates you a little more and robs you of the person you can be.
If you say you’ll do it, do it. It sounds easy….and guess what, it IS easy!
Some days, you won’t want to do it. I can’t lie to you. BUT as soon as it’s done, you’re fine. You’ve accomplished something, you’ve kept your word and you’re one step closer to success.
If you think that missing a workout, stuffing up your meals, backing out of the occasional event or just “shutting off for a while” is fine, I can guarantee you that it isn’t. You need to keep your word to yourself. It’s THE most important thing.
Respect from others starts with respecting yourself, and although the steps may not always be enjoyable, the destination is the overriding factor.
If you say you’ll do it, do it. Everyone has people in their life that fall into 2 categories; the do’ers and the sayers. I like do’ers because I can plan my life around them. “I’ll be there” means I’ll be there. It doesn’t turn into “sorry I’ve got to work” or “I just remembered that (insert clear lie here)”.
I challenge you to keep an eye on what you are currently doing to sabotage yourself. Think about the past fortnight and ask yourself how many things you’ve backed out of it not done because of bullshit excuses and just not committing to doing it….it may be more than you think.
If it IS, something needs to change, and that something is you and the mentality you have toward your obligations in life. If you make everything a priority you’ll be far happier and achieve a whole lot more.
I hate hate HATE heights, but I’ll continue to say yes before I even have time to make up an excuse. The more you commit to and follow through with the more you’ll accomplish.
If you feel stuck, be it with your health, career, anything, it’s because you’re too often putting up imaginary obstacles or heightening the smaller obstacles so you don’t have to fail. Failure is only achieved through lack of effort.
Have a great day, say yes and if you found this helpful, let me know.
Trav
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